I've been ruminating on a couple deep thought blogs for the last month. Of course I never have time to actually get these on paper, but let me give it a go today.
Deep Thought # 1 - Does Love makes thing Real? What happens when that Love moves on?
We have a number of friends that are currently moving out/ moving on from Bangalore and its got me thinking, a bit sad and overall reflective.
In the Velveteen Rabbit, love is what makes him real. Is that true for our experience in India? (or for our overall life experiences in general?) While we loved our experience: India, Indians, the culture, the food, the history, the craziness .... at the end of the day, the reason we loved our 2 1/2 years there was because of the people, our friends and connections. They are the ones that made it "real" to me.
They also say that friends are the family you choose for yourself.
So, now that many of our "family" members from the last 2 1/2 years are moving out from Bangalore, I am feeling conflicted. My ties to that wonderful experience/reality are moving on. Does that make Bangalore less real to me? I do still have good friends there, but the quanitity that reside in Bangalore are shrinking fast. I am losing my connection to that wonderful time/place in my life. This makes me sad. This close, intense and very "real" experience no longer exists. Maybe I was haboring false hopes that even while we moved back to MN, this reality was still alive and well and available for me to tap into. In a few weeks, that wont be the case anymore (at least it wont be the case with the same intensity).
But, it also means that I now have family all over the world. Brazil, Costa Rica, Bavaria, Quebec, Mumbai and yes, still Bangalore. This is opening a window of new experiences that is cool in and of itself, but not very "real" yet.
I am not sure how this makes me feel. Can you feel homesick for something that doesnt exist anymore? (ie late nights on the deck with red wine solving the world ills, long lazy Sunday brunches, pedicures, martini's on the way home from work, etc)
I am sure that to many people this will sound like ... "well "duh" you are just getting to this NOW?! You moved back to the US in January". Maybe I am a slow learner. But, it makes me sad that the people I love in Bangalore wont be together any more. It makes me hopeful that we'll get new cool experiences with them, but it also feels like the door just closed a little further on our wonderful time in India.
So, what am I going to do about it??? Hold my friends here close, hold my remaining friends in Bangalore even closer and reach out to my family around the world in new ways to stay connect and create a new reality for all us.